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I am Su Barber and I like to add a touch of ancient magic and inner wisdom to my life with labyrinths xx

Peri-menopausal Queening & Teening Pains

By Su Barber, Sep 18 2017 02:04PM

Embracing Menopause with Love
Embracing Menopause with Love

Peri-menopausal Queening and Teening Pains

After a recent high octane, high pitched, hair raising time with my son ( aged 11) I began to realise bizarrely how my time of life and his time are so similar.

Peri-menopause marks a transition period from the “Mother” period of our lives, to the “Queen” time, as we step into a different level of power and recreate ourselves. (“Mother” time of our lives does not necessarily mean becoming a mother, it can be any creative outpouring in our life between 25 years and 45 years old)

Moving into adolescence also marks the transition from childhood into young adulthood, from 10 years to 20 years.

Seems to me that they are both times of great confusion, lots of confusing information and knowledge, internally and externally.

Sleep patterns change, sometimes dramatically or erratically. Young people tend to start sleeping in longer, as their bodies and minds are growing. As perimenopausal Queens often we seem to lose hours of sleep, or it is all broken in pieces again, similar to when you become a new mum.

We both start to sweat, a lot more at random times, sometimes embarrassingly so, we have to step up on the personal hygiene levels again.

Anxiety levels start to rocket, as the brain starts re-shuffling and becomes often overwhelmed as the hormones do a merry dance with our bodies, easily flooded with cortisol, adrenaline pumping, nerve jangling stuff.

Every day you notice something has changed, what used to be comfortable is no longer, everything seems to be changing shape. You are changing subtly, parts of your body start to ache, (growing pains or arthritis?)

There are the random hairs appearing for the first time, a change in your pelt for a new season of life, wanted and unwanted, they mark a shift inside externally.

An inability to concentrate or stay focussed, as one woman called it recently “the Fog”. We seem to both lose our words, our way, sometimes and look a little lost.

Both of us stand upon a threshold, different from each other, but both know we are at the point of change and yet we know this will take time, it is not so quick a change as birthing, or as dramatic, but over time we will be able to look back and see how we have changed. Now we are both walking in a mist, a time of mystery, sometimes misery, feeling our way forwards with anxiety of the new ground, wondering where this will take us and who we will be by the time we get there.

I hope we will have each other’s backs during this time, that we do not forget others in our lives as we delve into this period of introspection. So many people suffer intensely during these moments of change in their lives, depression rates for peri-menopausal women are 16 fold the rates at other times of a woman’s life* and young people can suffer terribly too during adolescence.

Until the fog begins to clear again. Let’s not lose sight of each other during these important turning points of our lives, these pivotal twists in our path, do not always go straight forwardly, during these testing times.

*(stats from

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